It feels like it's been Christmas forever

Someone should write a Christmas carol with the title "It feels like it's been Christmas forever". It's still November, and I've already had enough of the festive season. Eaten an already stale-tasting fruit mince pie. Taken the little one to see Father Christmas (No Mum, his name is Santa Claus! Sandy Claws? NO!! SANTA CLAUS!). Done a little Christmas shopping amid dazzling baubles and unrealistically perfect Christmas table setting displays in department stores. Wondered how much longer Planet Earth can cope under the load of rampant consumerism before a complete ecological collapse. Resolved not to buy too much stuff, and to spend more time at the beach. Gawked at giant Christmas tree displays. Heard from rellies that I haven't had a thing to do with for years. Sniffed many a perfume. Been made nauseous by the smell of some quite terrible fragrances. Cursed those fools who mess about with classic perfumes and create deplorable new versions. Tested Guerlain's new fragrance. Enjoyed Guerlain's new fragrance. Coveted Guerlain's new fragrance. Convinced myself that it is too much of an extravagance. Gotten over it. Made a mental note that if I win lotto, I'll be at the Guerlain counter quick as a shot. Bought a bestseller by Richard Dawkins at a bargain price from a variety store for a Christmas gift. Felt smug about my bargain hunting success. Don't you think it is more than a little ironic that buying a book by the curmudgeonly king of atheists to give as a present has become a Christmas ritual for thousands of people all around the world?