Sunday, May 06, 2012

Lili's uncharitable thought for the day

Dude born overseas, don't you think it's time to drop the accent? Scotty, your siblings all sound like Aussies now, so what's the deal with you? Your wife, defacto, partner, mother-of-your-kids, whatever, was a huge Rod Stewart fan? Oh, how lame. Hey, Teutonic twit, yes, you with the skull tattoo, you're no less of a w***er this side of the equator. Feel free to return. Le Frog, you seem to think you're the Charles Boyer of the Antipodes. Sorry, but I just can't help thinking of Pepe Le Pew. Tex, you're always the Southern Gentleman but some of the time you give an airing of some quite peculiar, sexist and racist ideas, in the nicest, politest way, of course. We're rather more direct here in Australia, us locals, and I think I prefer it that way. Paddy my friend, I'm sure you have a top sense of humour. I'm sure every single one of your jokes are worth a smile. But I'm not laughing because I can't understand a single flippin word you say, and there's the problem. My friend from Edinburgh, your accent is no longer a communication issue, but is it so impossible to pronounce the word "controversy" without drawing attention to yourself? You have been living in Australia for how many years? Mr Belfast, it is your birthright to drink yourself into a stupor on a regular schedule? Alcoholics are full of ridiculous excuses, but that one takes the cake.

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